My Patients

I’m currently reading about bladder cancer.. Naalala ko yung patient ko. Musta na kaya siya.. umuwi na kasi, babalik ulit for chemotherapy next week pa. Sana gumaling na siya

There are really some patients that grabs you.. I mean you’ll connect and be sympathetic. Like a col. in V-Luna and a patient in the ICU.

There are bits of pieces of people you know, you see in them. A father, a church mate, a grandfather and a friend. Alam mo I got into this with this line of work with an egotistic notion na I want to touch people’s lives and leave my footprints, all that BS. Pero they are the one’s who touched my soul. I will never know what will become of them.. One can only pray for miracles to happen everyday.

One day I will be a patient.. Wonder if my nurse will feel lucky.. egocentric talaga noh :)

batibot

Siopao (Payat Skywalker)
Gwapo, payatot, matalino, bait, pranka, walang takot.. kadalasang napagkakamalang antipatiko dahil sa may katarayan at pranka. Habulin ng chicks kz ayun sa kanya may sense of humor daw cya.. hmm.. Ang totoo oo he’s funny n he’s smart kz. Ok makisama. Mabait pero nd nmn ganun kabait.

Madalas makinig sa kwento ng buhay ko.. At secretly kumuha ng tips kung pano maging heartthrob. Hehehe.

May political ambition kz balak tumulong sa sambayanan. Most influencial person sa buhay ko.. kasama n rin pati sa musical preference.. Street smart.

Dati back in bicol habang nagpuputukan ng firecracker at fireworks sa labas ng bahay namin, e nakatutok kmi sa ESTV nag sising along kami sa kanta.

Lagi ko pinapaiiyak nung bata kami.. kasi aminin ko na I find him obnoxious kz and I was jealous that he gets most of the attention from my dad and bjorn. Napakatalas ng dila.. Laki sa lola.. kaya tuwing bumibisita sa legazpi VIP.. hindi ko yun naiitindihan dati..

Sa ngayon mahilig pa rin mangalaska pero marunong n magpreno.

My therapist, roommate and friend. Naunahan lang ni james yap kay kris, hehehe. (Joke lang yun).

Mahilig makidebate.. kahit tama ka matatalo at susuko ka . Magaling kz magmanipulate sa debate..

Mantra: We don’t always get what we want but we always get what we deserve.
Signiture Style: Tsinelas, Free bee na T-shirts, Che Guevarra
TV Channel: CNN, BBC, TV Patrol, AXN UFC

Si Shaniee (Bonging Sister)
Kayang kaya sina siopao at tabachoy dati.. tumangkad lang kaya nd na sila mabully. Good old days.. Yung dalawa kong kapatid, cila na kayamanan ko. Pride and joy ba. I love taking their picture in the morning, mga spoof videos pag nag totoothbrush cila at naghuhugas ng mukha. Madalas sila maasar at tawagin akong KSP, e nageenjoy ako.

Not the girl next door but she’s somebody you want to live the next door to. Charing! Tagal ko n itong linya. hahaha

Madaling maconscious.. pilit sumisiksik sa katabi pagnahihiya.. nagtatago sa table o sa likod nga pitchel ng tubig. Mahiyain talaga, mabilis mapahiya.. parang high school.

Takot sa chinese big brothers. hehehhe

Mantra: If you want it bad enough, you can do anything.
Signiture Style: Violet slippers, capris, plain shirt
TV Channnel: Disney Channel, Star TV

Boy Psychic
Pinakamalaking regalo na ang dalawa kong kapatid. Greatest gift na niya yun to mankind. Yun na ata reason kung bat cya ginawa ng diyos. Sama ko noh.. Kahit loko loko yan mahal ko pa rin. Madalas maniwa sa hula at supernatural. Best actor, swindler, manipulative, chickboy at mambobola. At comedyante rin yan. Talo pa si Willy Revilliame, ka look-alike nya yun. Pag tumakbo nga ito sa larangan ng politika panalo e.

To his defense.. as a father nung bata pa ako lagi cya wala sa bahay. Pero naramdaman ko naman na love nya ako. Once upon a time bago ako mag 18.. cya rin namn pinakaimportanteng tao sa buhay ko. I wasn’t afraid of anything because I knew he would be there to catch me when I fall. Opo siya nga ang dating Joe Rogan sa buhay ko. He’s never a father but a good friend. Somehow that worked because we really had a very strict mom. My mom would always say na siya ang panganay sa aming magkakapatid. A lot of things happen since then. Immature kz hanging ngayon.. He helped my mother to accept me as a protestant. Lahat kz cila before katoliko, ngayon dalawa n kmi ni pao.

Bonding na niya ang pagbasketball with my brothers.

“Paki bukas nga ng pinto/paki abot nga yan, (pag nd m ginawa) ang tamad mo talaga.”.. Pero cya nd kaya gawin, nang uutos n lng e tinawag k pang tamad. Napaka-ironic nmn.

Character Analysis: The boy who never grew up.. Always a lost boy.. Mabait naman ito kung sa mabait.
Signiture Style: Rolex watch, signiture clothes

Tabachoy
Ang driver ng pamilya. Pride n joy ang auto niya.

Distinguishing mark: ang tyan.. ang tyan. Pero in fairness lumiliit na. Diet: San Mig light at puyat.

Photgenic before. Pinakacute na baby nung mga bata pa kmi.

7 months lang cya niluwal ng nanay ko. Wud u believe cya ang heavyweight sa amin ngayon.

Torpe.. Mabarkada.. Nightlife gabi gabi.. Typical male. Siya si stiffler ng American pie. Kwela kasama. Comedyante sa loob at labas ng bahay. Madaldal.. Siya talaga ang perfectong blending ni nanay at tatay. Lahat n nakuha niya :)

Pag magkagalit kami napapaliguan ako ng mura.. pero after 5 minutes ok n cya. Terms of endearment n naming ang tabachoy, gago, sira ulo, bobo at punyeta.

This guy.. maganda built niya.. yung taba niya muscle, compact.. this guy should get in shape.. ang bata pa pero I’m worried about his health.. ang cholesterol nito sa katawan.. Maki san mig at red horse pa namn.

Macholesterol ang katawan.. pero mas malambot pa sa mamon ang puso. Ala marshmallow.. Mabait sa mabait dahil hinahatid ako sa duty tuwing umaga (6 am), well halos.. . Taga sundo ko naman galling duty pag umaabot ako ng 10pm V-luna pa yun dun lagi.

Paborito ni nanay.. Family oriented in the sense na siya mag susuetento kay pa at ma. Ibabahay si mama at i-ispoilden.

Sex Appeal daw niya: Ang tiyan at auto niya.

Mantra: Who’s your daddy?
Signiture Style: Kinakati siya sa hindi branded
TV Channel: Viva cinema, Bora bora, lagot ka, okay fine whatever

Si Nanay (Mama)
May 11 archive :)

Signiture Style: Polo Shirts, beaded shirts, Sandals
TV Channel: Chinese channel

peks man

1. Promise mag gugulay na ako.. ill try to eat vegtables as much as possible
2. Magaaral n ako.. prioritize na yan
3. Manlalake n ako. hehhe.. to move on.
4. enuf is enuf.. i'll never give up giving up.. hav to learn to giv up on somebody kz. to let go, tama na.
5. i'll sleep early
6. cut down on tv and read more
7. mag excercise.. tumataba n ako.

resolutions.. reslolutions.. wag sana mapako..

3 day vacation

nagloko fon ko.. 3 days ako walang incoming msg.. 3 days din akong bum at bangag. ewan ko ba, parang may hang over pero nd nmn lasing. nakadikit lang sa kama at tv. mga plano sa pagbabasa nauuwi lang sa tulog at kain.

kelangan ko n mag bagong buhay.

i woke up happy.. a serene feeling.. nothing to lose.

went to RP khapon.. it was fun.. bought buch of stuff thats in between ugly, trndy and funny. a light violet sunglasses that resembles willy wonka's glasses but not quite. a gold slippers that ewan ko b, naaliw lng ako dahil gold pero saksakan ng badoy. pero di pende ata sa nagdadala sana.. hahaha :)

Violence in Jolo

The discrimination and Animosity in Jolo, Basilan is rampant
People live in fear and hangs on prayers
They live on miracle every day that bullet would stray from their bodies.. Bolos are not the way to die..
Military men (Marines) are assigned to guard and escort religious figures (nuns and priest). Teachers are also a target.

For a place and people that has no voice.. These people are not dirt, their lives.. each of them are important as our own. Their stories need to be told.

A story that an electrician had his head cut off because he was associated with the church.
Nuns offer themselves as shield to our soldiers because they rather die than be brought as sex slaves by their captures in the mountain. Nuns voluntary shield soldier..
The children dwell in the classroom full of bullet holes. They have difficulty learning the use of “was, were, is” English linking verb. What’s the use of knowing perfect English when bullets are flying all over the place.

This happens everyday.. And I thought it happens only in Africa and Brazil base from the movies Hotel Rowanda and City of Gods.

It saddens me that this is happening to us. When one blood is overcome by hatred.

5 years ago I said “when will the killing stop”.. This is what I presented in our Philippine History class. Subject was the killings between our soldiers and muslims.

We need a miracle but more that we need something else. As Christians we need to take off our shoes (animosity, discrimination, prejudice). To open our mind as well as our heart. To be the miracle..

3 in 1

three things are bothering me today:

1. My mother tested positive for streptococcus.. ASO titer is 4000, thats high. That means the bacteria is already in her bloodstream. I don't know where she got it from.. I know this and I have to be calm and assure her that she'll make it through. To tell her that we are lucky because we have the means to buy medicine to cure/counter such disease, while other people have none. She worries aside from that she also has a goiter problem, bone/joint and cholesterol problem.

2. I might be infected as well.. I have to get tested tomorrow, first thing in the morning.

3. I'd rather not post.. because my brother will read this again! :) How do you get over.. knowing logically your limitations. I mean why can't I be mad at him. Maybe above all else as with everything to get things done: need to practice discipline, self-control and a good head over the shoulder. And I lot of principles and fixed mind set that as stubborn as an arrow that shoots straight, never looks back and has only one target.

hollow woman

madaming maganda diyan.. mabait.. konti lang ata matalino at masipag.. marunong magluto, magdrive.. money making.. independent.. asset yan..

sometimes i think.. i worry.. that underneath my exterior i'm empty.. i'm boring and ordinary.. don't get me wrong, i embrace that at times. there are times that you just want to be a face in the crowd. but.. i need to stand out.. y? para siguro may thrill buhay. take the risk.. to make an impression. mag inggay n lng kaya ako n be annoying. hehehhe

thesis 2

how can we be an agent of change?
whats the permanent solution, a long term one.. beside Patriotism for filipino nurses to stay.
benefits, salary increase, vacation and holiday pay..

demand for change.. a need for one.. a call of help..
hmm... takbo kaya ako sa PNA..

alam ko may pera dito sa pinas.. pano kaya hukayin ito..

"we must be the change, we wish to see in the world" taters

silver lining

i know one day a boy will come and fix my heart
but til that day comes.. i'll look behind me and see my two boys
sana i get to find someone like them.

thesis..

im reading the first and second paragraph of our thesis.. it's titled "motivations of nurses to go abroad".. well nakakalungkot. the thought of leaving, the thought na wala ng maiiwan dito para alagaan at mag aruga sa mga kababayan natin. paano na sila. pero at the same time.. ur thinking there still something better than this. ewan ko ba.. pano nga ba yumaman.. mag doctorate na lang kaya ako at magbenta ng libro.. kikita ako dami nag nunursing e.. at the same time nd na ako aalis. paano ba yan e bopols pa naman ako magsulat at nd rin ako magaling mag lecture. anyway lahat namn natutunan.

i know God will mold me to be a better person.. hopefuly to be of use in saving humanity. taray! pang super league ang linya :)

lamat..

family reunion kahapon.. Death anniversary ni ama at birthday namn ni gwa-ma. it's kinda funny reunions used to be so much fun. My cousins and I went abroad (hong kong, china) when we were kids. just imagine a plan jam packed with kids. well mga around 8 kids. 8 p lng kmi nun.. about. We enjoy all souls day reunion in daet, yung snowball made out of kandila.. anyway those were the happy days. Terence my fave cousin and I didnt even talk, we promised that what ever our parents difference, we wont let us get affected. After a short mass in mt. carmel we went to gloria maris greenhills, food was not exceptional. we were suppose to wear red pla, we just wore bright color. ama's 2nd death anniversary, in tradition were suppose to wear red to symbolize happiness. and for luck.

That same night at 6:30 pm, we attended the birthday celebration of gwa-ma. wow the food was great. the atmosphere was really fun. everybody was happy and loud. we really enjoyed ourselves. emerald rocks! sarap pagkain. we werent suppose to wear red, we wore red. coz gwa-kong just died a year ago.

it's kinda ironic.. coz before i liked my dad side of the family better. and all because of money family ties gets rusted, backstabbing everywhere. pride fries..