i once said that i have a cold heart and that its hard as stone.. I am like that with my dad. I have said that i have forgiven him.. but every time i hear his voice, his voice echoes past hurt and it builds a fortress brick by brick almost instantly. It's not conditioning, its more like a defense mechanism that u've been hurt many times by this man.
I still carry this hate, this sarcasm.. is it a sin to distinguish filth? lies? deceit? those are the evils of the world.. is it wrong to hate it.
My father never really found redemption, he ask for forgiveness but never walked away from his mistakes. He plays it over and over again and uses other people in his gain. He is manipulative.
Advice to the liars: If ur going to lie at least be smart about it.. Cover ur tracks.. What they don't know wont hurt them right?.. Well but it will hurt u. because once u've told many lies, u wont know where the truth begins. U'll drown urself in many stories, it's like quick sand it will eat u alive. I'd like to say see u at the crack house (asylum) but hey i'm not going to work there. But i am going to say that here in the philippines they very much advocate the ECT (Electro convulsive therapy) and in the NCMH they give it to u without anesthesia. ok i'm scaring u.. they say u don't feel any pain after the treatment because u wont remember it.